Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
