no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
