it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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