We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
