If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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