We're facebook friends in real life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
