Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
