I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
