She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
