It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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