Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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