Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
