garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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