what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize