All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
