Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
