Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
