I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
