Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
