Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
