So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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