I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
