i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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