if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
nutella sex= disaster
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
