yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
