im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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