Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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