The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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