There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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