The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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