was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
