Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
