im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
