from now on my penis is your penis
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
