you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
