you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Umm I'm too high to move.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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