Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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