You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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