Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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