some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
