I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
