I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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