i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
