wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
