She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
