If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
