Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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