see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
