so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
