If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
