im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
