I want to walk on stilts...naked
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
