I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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