I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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